It seems I am back to my old self and working as much as I was last year. Slowly, my energy level is decreasing as time goes by. I remember I used to do 16 hours back to back, but now I can only manage one 16 hours. I also require a lot of resting. I may have over did it before, so I've decided to work out recently. It was not easy and my body needed to adjust from the years of sedentary lifestyle. I also get the feeling I am not doing the exercises properly which caused a bit of back pain. I've also thought of joining a gym like good life or ymca, but still have not made any firm commitment since I lack the motivation. At this time, I am just aiming for maintenance than building muscles or stamina.
Sometimes, I think a lot of girls are superficial that they miss knowing a great guy. Even if they know that the guy is a tenth of me, they still think they are lucky to have him. That negative energy has made me to what I am today. While this negativity comes because all my dates have been like April fools. I once thought I could change a person and change myself, but it just made things more worse. I realize I could live with or without a person. In the end, I became a stronger person. So for those people crying being single, don't threat because God is fair. God still loves you even if you are single, and sometimes it may not be a good thing if you find another person that is incompatible to the point you feel stressed each day.
So knowing God and how he died for me was the positive energy that calmed me down the last 6 months. I think I finally understand the concept. Though this concept is easy for anyone to understand, but for me I was in denial. Till last week, I finally see that everything is in God's hands. No matter how I calculate or deduct, the eventual answer cannot be changed since it was predestined.
Though I don't say I am old, but I do feel tired and want to rest more. I don't think I will miss my ex's again because I am no longer alone and God will give me the best.
Thanks for listening to my sharing.
It is January 15th 2013 at 2204. Over this time, I've learned to forget the past and focus more on the future. In this short time, I was interviewed for two hospital jobs. One of them are going through references, the other one has a second component in a panel interview form. The key for me lies in my confidence and not so much about memorizing what to say. I believe I smited the interview so well that the manager was convinced I knew my material and thought the one hour interview was an interesting experience.
As I progress with this path, I no longer think of my ex, and all the feelings that come with it. From love to hate to love. I realize once a man learns to love, he is at risk of hate. I believe I've gained controll of my feelings and no longer feel as lost as I was three weeks ago.
I've begun to read the bible once again. More so, I feel the answers to some of the mysteries of life are contained in the bible. What I mean is anyone can read the wisdom that lies within, but to be able to apply it in one's life is probably the most challenging. For the unbelievers, the path of the righteous was revealed more than 2000 years ago. That any person would be able to save themselves from the depths of fire in that they accept the Lord Jesus as his/her personal saviour leading a life of repentence. In this world, we are all merely passing guests.
I've choose to go back to the very beginning since my spiritual life is very weak. I've decided to read up on the 4 gospels and probably look into the deeper meanings within each book. The devil tempts me from time to time to sway me from the path of the righteous. With accusations from time to time.
Dear Lord, bind a millstone around the evil's neck so that it shall never again rise from the depths of the Leviathans. Chain it to eternal darkness where it cannot affect me. In the Lord I pray.
|In my lifetime, I had loved one girl more than anything in the world, but she ended up leaving me. Perhaps this is our fate. There is no turning back.|
Since the world didn't end, I hope 2013 offers more happiness. I also need to walk my dog more, since I rarely spend time with him.
Alas, I can focus doing what I do best. This year, I've decided to buy about 6k in RRSP. I have recently bought a few stocks on top of my other RRSPs. Hopefully one day I could retire with them.
Dear God, give me strength and peace of mind.
Please drink 6-8 glasses of water each day. Refrain from pop and concentrated juice unless diluted with water. Put on your ac's or sleep naked, and always be positive everywhere you go.
Seems I've aged to be thinking of retirement. Perhaps I can afford another 15 years of nursing, but after I hope to find another interest. I don't know what it will be, but I hope I find the answer in the years to come. I plan to make room for a vacation every 2 years to be safe.
Did you know the cherries on my back yard are starting to be pink? Yikes, forgot I had a mortgage too. So much thinking....
My mom's surgery is done and she is at home. But she cannot walk that well. sigh... Hopefully her recovery goes well. She has talked about taking me back to find a wife... I'm still not sure why I haven't agreed to her about it, but the feeling of age is pushing me ....haha...what a life.
(deleted a few pieces of the original...part of trying not to stand out that much)